Not everything that opposes us destroys us. Sometimes it is friction itself that opens a passage.
with Loredana Filippi
Life offers us this from the very beginning.
The contractions of the mother's womb begin to knock with growing vehemence, and something seems to want to push us out of our home. The walls close in, and the soft warmth they once produced turns into a harsh roughness that, by compressing, pushes towards a threshold — one not yet recognised.
The word conflict summons images of friction, contrast, opposition, even war. Factions clashing. Positions at odds and irreconcilable.
Sometimes conflict presents itself as a mistake, something that should not have happened, an obstacle on the path. A problem to be solved so the journey can continue.
And yet, if we look closely at the world around us, opposition is everywhere.
We live in a polar system: a difference in potential allows energy to pass between the two poles of a light bulb and lets it shine. The parts stand as mirrors to one another and, in that reflection, recognise each other and return, in their meeting, to generate something new.
When all goes smoothly, this is how it works. But when the flow is interrupted, the parts oppose each other, set themselves one against the other, and end up in conflict. That is when friction takes the shape of a problem.
But let us play with words for a moment.
Let us imagine that a word is a magic box, and try to open it: not to find a definitive answer inside, but to discover which images and which questions it holds.
The word problem has always intrigued me. It comes from the Greek próblēma, derived from probállō: to place before, to put forward. That is the image that holds me.
Not against. Before.
So that I may see it. Touch it. Decide what to do with it.
It does not attack me from behind. It stands before me like a threshold. What remains behind, invisible, can govern me. Can govern us.
When it appears before us, it loses none of its harshness. But it stops working in the shadows. I can see where I am. I can choose the next step. Not because the problem is already solved, but because it is now in front of me.
Perhaps a problem holds both things at once: what obstructs, and what reveals itself.
The threshold is not the solution. It is the point where what came before is no longer enough, and what comes next has not yet taken shape.
We can no longer pretend not to see. We do not know whether we will manage to cross it, nor how.
The question, then, is not a single one.
What is this conflict placing before me?
What does it reveal about me, about the other, about the relationship?
And what keeps eluding me precisely as I believe I am seeing more clearly?
Behind the Words — with Loredana Filippi
An editorial elaboration by the Emozioni editorial team, drawn from the unpublished essay «Il conflitto come soglia» by Loredana Filippi.
Follow the path as it unfolds
This article opens Emozioni's path dedicated to Conflict. Subscribe to the newsletter to receive the next articles by email and follow the path as it takes shape.
In the meantime, you can explore the issue «Il Conflitto» and the writing that runs through its theme.